Being a parent is one of the toughest and yet most transformative roles we can choose to experience. For those of you who find the going tough, I have some wisdom for you. The greatest switch-point you will have as a parent is when you are able to see through a new and awakened lens. You start to see parenting as a platform for your own personal and spiritual growth. You parent from a wise and willing state where you see your children as teachers for your personal and spiritual growth, and not as human beings who have come into your life to be the successful part of you that’s been disowned in the aftermath of your early adversity.
The truth is you will be challenged and changed as a result of your journey through parenthood, and yet unfortunately, so will your children if you are not able to make that switch into conscious parenting and conscious loving. When you parent consciously, awake and aware and choosing to heal and integrate from your own trauma responses and intergenerational trauma patterns, and to the limiting relational patterning you are repeating from your own childhood, then you can inhabit your authentic power, and live and love unconditionally.
Here are ten superpowers I often share with parents who consult with me:
- To listen with the intention to better understand, instead of listening with the intention to prove yourself right
- To lean into the discomfort of vulnerability where true intimacy is cultivated, rather than to escape and avoid by controlling and contriving and denying and dismissing
- To consciously choose peace, understanding and compassion rather than criticism, judgement and blame
- To let confrontation become self-evaluation
- To be curious rather than to be right
- To cultivate regular moments of simple meaningful connection
- To guide by offering wisdom and insight, rather than threatening punitive action
- To consciously operate from a lens of authentic power, that is power-with, rather than power-over
- To love and value who you truly are, while loving and caring for your children
- To know when you need support and to reach out to caring others to be that support
As parents, as we use these superpowers, we actually cultivate these superpowers within our children. And in doing so, we create a kinder, gentler and more compassionate world for all children to inhabit.